Archive for ‘rant’

October 11, 2010

Irony at its finest…

by Kyle Smith

So I recently was reading at great blog post about commercials and it reminded me of my commercial…more like point and  make fun of. I’m sure many of you have seen the new Miller Lite commercials about manning up. Now before I go any further, I’ll just go ahead and say it, “My name is Kyle Smith and I am a beer snob. Well not snob, but I know good beer and sorry but Miller Lite is AWFUL beer.”

The latest Miller Lite commercial really made me think about their marketing strategies because they pretty much call out everyone who drinks their beer…the actually made fun of the Ed Hardy crowd…ummm…hello…news flash…Ed Hardy wearers ARE THE ONES DRINKING YOUR BEER. Way to make fun of your own…next think you know Corona is going to start making fun of people who sit in chairs at the beach.

August 30, 2010

Self checkout is a privilege not a right!

by Kyle Smith
Omni Superstore 1991 Schererville, Indiana Che...

Image via Wikipedia

I’m sure many of you have tried out the self checkout line at least once or twice. And if you still didn’t get the hang of it by the second time then you should have moved on. Stop trying. Right now.

Self checkout is not there for you to not stand in line at the regular checkout line. In fact, if you don’t know what you’re doing it will honestly take you longer to self checkout then if you would have been a good little shopper and waited in the kiddie pool checkout.

There’s nothing worse than having three items, going to the self checkout, and being greeted by a handful of people who have NO business using it. I know it’s pretty advanced…swipe item…place in bag…repeat….repeat….pay….leave. It’s not the place to pull out bucket-O-coupons, to pay with only $1 bills, to price check and item, to pay with cash, to ring up a basket full of items, to buy fruit, vegetable or anything else that needs some special code entered in to buy. Just walk up, get it done and get out of there. I think you should have to take a test to qualify for the expert checkout line, maybe just a short survey.

Since I had so much time with the self checkout kooks today I complied a short list of self checkout qualifications:

  1. You know how to use a cell phone
  2. You’ve written and write emails on a regular basis
  3. You are under 50 years of age
  4. You don’t bring a basket of coupons with you
  5. You’re paying with credit/debit card
  6. Technology isn’t a four letter word in your vocabulary
  7. You’re in a hurry

If you waiver from ANY of these qualifications please wait in the regular checkout line with the rest of society. You’re not ready for the big leagues yet. Think about it like this. At airports there are two lines 1) Business travelers 2) Rest of the world. In line 1, everyone does this almost daily. They’re experts at traveling. They know all the rules. To take off their shoes when going through security. To turn on their laptops when running it through the security scanner. They have this line because they need to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible and do not need a family of 6 holding them up from getting to LAX for their 10 a.m. appointment.

So next time you’re at the grocery store think of it these terms. Think twice before entering the expert checkout line. Because if you do, and you hold up the line…just know EVERYONE behind you thinking ill thoughts about you and your shopping habits.