DUI Hit and Run

by Kyle Smith

Well, I left off on Friday saying to have a nice weekend. And mine was pretty good. We ended up going to Surf Side on Saturday and it was awesome! The fact that it didn’t rain that day was great. After we enjoyed the beach we headed to Kitty’s Purple Cow for some good burgers. After gorging our selfs on the greasiest, white-trash eats, we headed to our friends dad’s newly built custom mansion. On our way there I had quiet the experience.
We were all caravaning, three cars in length. I was bringing up the rear, and didn’t make the light. So I slowed down to come to a stop. As I was slowing, I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed a large black Expedition plowing towards me. So before impact I let off the breaks and gassed it a little to ease the collision. It wasn’t bad, just a good little nudge. So I get out check the car, see that some paint had been chipped and the bumper was dimpled. As I’m examining my car, I keep waiting to hear the other person exit their vehicle. So I look up and they’re laughing it up in their SUV not even aware they just hit me. So I look at them and throw my hands up in a “are you going to freakin’ exit your car and come look at this” manner. Thuglife #1, the driver, stumbles out of the vehicle. As he nears, I notice is eyes are rolled back in his head and are blood-shot. “Oh great, I’ve got a real law abiding citizen on my hands,” I thought to myself. He falls to the car and says, “I didddn’tt doo nuffin… thurrrss no damage…..” and I say, “That’s funny because there is paint missing from my bumper.” He says, “I ddinnt ‘ven hit chu…”. So by that time Thuglife #2, the passenger, exits the vehicle, joint in hand. So I can tell these guys are blown out of their mind and I really don’t want to get jumped so I tell them to pull into the parking lot, so we can clear the intersection. They get back in their car and try to hang a u-turn to get out of there.
With the use of my trusty rear-view mirror I was able to see this and began to turn with them. They see this and realize I’m not going to let them get away and they follow me through the intersection. We both put on our blinkers and begin to pull into the parking lot, well as I’m about to enter the parking lot they swerve around me and continue on down the road.
I have my wife call the cops, she give the license plate, location and description of the vehicle and suspects. I follow them down the road and we pull into a gas station, coincidentally where the rest of the caravan was waiting as they watched me back at the light. Well Thuglife #1 and #2 are really beginning to piss me off b/c they were just circling the parking lot. They then exit the gas station and pull out onto the road. I follow, b/c they’re not speeding, but in their state-of-mind they’re already flying. Then they decide the ditch is a better escape route, and I just follow along side them on the road. They get back on the road and turn onto the next street, still going 40 mph. We approach a red light and are approx. 40 yards away. Well, they decide to gun it and plow through the red light. I decided that it’s time to stop pursuing them and I’ll just meet wait for the police to meet me at a near by church. So the cop shows up and tells me that he’ll try to find the two drains to society and that’s pretty much all there is to do. So I said thanks and continued on my way to the mansion. I’ll post about this at a later date.
I think the thing that upsets me the most is that since I was on a cell phone we didn’t get through to the local police until it’s too late. Something needs to be done about this. What good is it to call the cops if they can’t even get there until way after the event? I really hope they found those two idiots, other wise they’ll be back on the roads again doing the same thing…

2 Comments to “DUI Hit and Run”

  1. Oh man, stuff like this always happens to you. I loved the links. Especially the last one.

  2. Links were good…”state of miNd” was the best.

    This is precisely why you should carry a 3 foot chunk of pipe or at least heavy conduit in your back seat.

    Should never have let them get away.

    *HINT* attract local fuzz by throwing a gum wrapper out of the winder of yer car!

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