What is Friendship?

by Kyle Smith

I know I said this blog was going to be more “newsy” but this is just something that is eating me up so I figured why not vent on my blog, that’s why it’s here right? And I apologize for this rant, but I’ve gotta let it out.

What is friendship?
This has always been something I ask myself when it comes to any of my “friendships”. You can look it up and get a text book answer but that is in an ideal world. For all my life I have gone over and beyond for all of my friends. I’m always willing to go out of my way for all of my friends, but I’ve slowly realized that very few of them are willing to do the same for me. This realization was escalated when I entered college, or I guess I should say when college came to a close. Some of my very first friends at SFA have really screwed me over the past year, and I really have no idea why. And the thing is they don’t seem to care. I’m slowly realizing that what I’ve thought as friendships are really just relationships where people are taking advantage of me. Maybe I’m just a selfish ass, but it seems like anytime my “friends” would have to go out of their way they wouldn’t and the plans would have to change to fit their needs.

Recently I found out that two of my friends were moving out of the state. One of which I call friend because they’re in my “group” of friends and the other I really do consider a great friend. So our “group” decided that we should all try to get together one last time and send our “friends” off with a bang. But what I’m realizing is that if this weekend get together is not convenient for our two friends then it’s not going to happen. Well I’m sorry but aren’t we going out of our way to get together in the first place?

The two who are moving live in Dallas, my wife and I in Houston, two others live in Austin, another in Nacogdoches, and another NW of Dallas. So it’s not like everyone is really close to begin with. So we decided to rent a place in Galveston, I called the majority of the people getting together and everyone said that it would be a lot of fun. So we booked the condo. Well then one of the “friends” whose moving decided that it was inconvenient to go to Galveston and that they didn’t want to drive that far. But that it’s ok for everyone else to go out of their way to come see them in Dallas.

Well first off this person has never gone out of their way for me or really anyone else to my knowledge. Secondly, they decided that their boyfriend’s birthday was more important than being in my wedding, seriously?! But I thought hey whatever they’re my friend. So let’s plan a weekend for them, but yet again it’s not convenient to them.

So here’s a hypothetical conversation that pretty much sums up the situation:

People moving: “Hey everyone we’re moving”
Everyone: “Man that sucks!”
People moving: “Yea we should all try to get together one last time (as long as it’s convenient to me)”
Everyone: “Hey let’s rent a place in Galveston and we could all hang out for the entire weekend.”
People moving: “Well that’s really not convenient and you all really are not important enough for us to go out of our way; so, if you want to see us then you should go out of your way.”
Everyone: “Screw you, we’re always going out of our way. It’s obvious you’re not willing to be inconvenienced and that we’re not important enough so have fun in Cali and NY.”

Except everyone will actually roll over and say ok whatever you want, and my wife and I will look like the jerks as usual, even though many others feel the same way and just don’t want to rock the boat.

So (PEOPLE WHO CARE + PEOPLE WHO WILL GO OUT OF THEIR WAY FOR “FRIENDS” = PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR THEIR “FRIENDS”)

One Comment to “What is Friendship?”

  1. karl, you are, what i like to refer to as a “patsy”. you do whatever anybody else needs you to do without complaint. you make them look good, or make them comfortable at a cost to your own image or comfort.

    i recognize this, since i am similarly afflicted. it’s a curse. it’s a blessing. but sometimes you just want to blow, dang it!

    i have no other advice, but to learn how to say no. or “stuff it”…it will lower your stress level (after you stop feeling bad for “letting them down”).

    everybody else just needs to BUTCH UP!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: